


ever since

by ghosthunter



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M, what's the tag for slowly falling in love with the guy you hero worshipped as a kid?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 04:11:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17338340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghosthunter/pseuds/ghosthunter
Summary: They have a lot in common.They’re from the same place, they play hockey - Christian’s going to make the NHL one day. It’s not like he idolizes Nicke - everyone in their hometown pretty much worships the ground he walks on, especially those who play hockey.Christian isn’t sure if he wants to be like Nicke, or to be Nicke, to be one of the best players in the NHL. He’s not even a forward, but he watches Nicke, and he works hard.





	ever since

**Author's Note:**

  * For [itsahockeynight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsahockeynight/gifts).



> happy birthday!
> 
>  
> 
> thanks to jarka for beta, as usual. :)

They have a lot in common.

They’re from the same place, they play hockey - Christian’s going to make the NHL one day. It’s not like he idolizes Nicke - everyone in their hometown pretty much worships the ground he walks on, especially those who play hockey.

Christian isn’t sure if he wants to be like Nicke, or to be Nicke, to be one of the best players in the NHL. He’s not even a forward, but he watches Nicke, and he works hard.

When he gets drafted, it’s to the Washington Capitals. To Nicke’s team. Where Nicke has played the entire time he’s been in the NHL. And Christian is going to play there.

He’s going to play there if he has to kill himself to get there.

Well, maybe not kill himself.

The first time he meets Nicke is at training camp, when he knows he might play one game and then immediately be sent down to Hershey. He knows he’s not good enough for the NHL yet. One day. One day soon. But for now - he’s on the same ice as Nicklas Backstrom. He might play in a game with Nicklas Backstrom.

After he gets sent to Hershey, he gets a text from an unknown number.

_u did great! ur going to be great on team one day! )))))_

There’s a moment where Christian just stares at his phone, forgetting to breathe. A second text comes through.

_this is ovi btw ))))_

Ha ha, fucking Alex Ovechkin is texting him. Christian falls over on the hotel room bed and mashes his face into the duvet. He’s supposed to go apartment hunting in the morning, because he’s going to be in Hershey for the season, but for now - face down in the duvet.

His phone vibrates again.

_backy say he’d proud of u_

Christian feels his soul leave his body.

 

The text is sitting on his phone when he turns it back on when he lands in Sweden after development camp. It’s an unknown number, but he knows who it is, and his heart skips a beat.

_let me know when you get back to gavle. we can train._

Christian’s not exactly going to say no to working out with Nicklas Backstrom.

 

Working out with Nicke is nice. It’s totally different from what Christian would normally do, but at the same time it’s exactly the same. Nicke skates differently, he’s taller and broader than Christian could ever hope to be. He wears Christian out, but in a good way. Christian is exhausted when he gets home, but he feels good. Happy.

“You looked good at dev camp,” Nicke tells him one day as they’re having lunch. Christian feels his face heat up even as his stomach flips. “You just gotta keep working.”

Christian just nods, because he’s afraid if he opens his mouth, he might say something stupid. Or throw up. He’s not sure. But Nicke swallows and goes on.

“Ovi had clips of you playing in Hershey, which was kind of cool,” Nicke says, and Christian briefly wonders if someone can expire from embarrassment. Is it embarrassment? He’s thrilled that Alex fucking Ovechkin is looking at clips of him playing. That Alex fucking Ovechkin is showing Nick Backstrom - THE Nick Backstrom - clips of him playing. He’s blushing hot all over.

“I don’t know where he finds that shit,” Nicke is says. “Anyway, that’s why I wanted to meet up with you and train.”

“Okay,” Christian says, nodding his head, finally managing to make the words squeak out. “It’s - it’s a lot.” He finally says. “Not how I would train. I’m not as heavy. I don’t bulk up.”

“It’s okay if you can’t,” Nicke finally says after a few moments of silence. “You can find other ways to compensate. Play smarter, play harder. We all find ways to compensate for what we lack.”

“Sure, because you lack anything,” Christian says, his voice dry. “Local hero Nicklas Backstrom, practically perfect in every way.”

“Fuck off,” Nicke says, but he’s grinning.

 

Christian makes the opening night roster.

Barry calls him into his office, sits him down, and tells him he’s going to be on the team. He’s going to stay up. He’s going to play.

When he gets back to the locker room to grab his stuff, he finds a text waiting for him on his phone.

_Congratulations!_

While he’s looking at the first one, staring at Nicke’s name and number on the screen, a second text comes through.

_Dinner to celebrate?_

Christian sends back, _tonight?_ And then after a second’s thought, _there’s nothing really to celebrate, i’m not playing opening night_

_Who gives a fuck you made the team and you’re gonna play_

A rush of warmth sweeps down Christian’s body and he can’t stop himself from smiling. Most of the guys are gone, so there’s no one left in the locker room to see it. His phone pings again.

_You’re getting dinner with me_

Christian helplessly sends back, _ok_

 

Christian expects there to be other people at dinner. He’s not the only one making the team out of training camp for the first time - Vrana’s played in call ups, but he’s making the roster for the first time out of camp as well. Other people have things to celebrate. The season is about to start.

But it’s just Christian and Nicke at dinner. It’s not what Christian expected, but it’s nice sitting alone and just talking with Nicke. Talking and not working out, or playing hockey, or talking about playing hockey. They talk about Sweden, their hometown, what it’s like playing in DC. Christian tells Nicke about Hershey, because Nicke never played there.

Nicke’s feet bump against Christian’s under the table. Not just once, but a couple of times. Christian knows it’s not deliberate, that Nicke’s interest can’t possibly be like that. It would be nice, because talking to Nicke is comfortable and easy, because Nicke is beautiful and strong and everything Christian could ask for in a partner.

But…

Christian can’t imagine a universe where Nicke could actually be interested in him. Not some kid who idolized Nicke as he came up through juniors, some barely-made it player who might not even stick around on the roster. He should be taking out someone … well, someone better. Someone like Ovi. Nicke deserves someone like Ovi.

It doesn’t mean anything when Nicke’s hand brushes across Christian’s lower back, Christian’s sure. It can’t, because there’s no way he could be Nicke’s type. Nicke’s type has to be tall and beautiful and so much more than Christian is.

Nicke is quiet as he drives them both through the city, taking Christian back to the hotel. The last thing Christian expects is for Nicke to actually park and walk in with him. He expects Nicke to swing through the driveway and let Christian off in the lobby and leave, but no. Nicke walks all the way up to Christian’s room.

“I wanted to make sure you got home safe,” Nicke says, one corner of his mouth pulling up. Christian grins at him.

Nicke’s lips are a little chapped when they touch Christian’s, the kiss soft and barely there.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Nicke says to him, his voice quiet as he pulls away. His fingers bump against Christian’s, then wrap around them, squeezing gently. “Sleep well.”

He walks away then, leaving Christian standing stunned outside his hotel room door.

 

The thing is, Christian expects it to be weird. Christian fully expects to be the one who makes it weird, actually. And then Nicke never says anything about it and he smiles at Christian and everything is exactly the same, except Christian’s not even playing in the game that night, and Nicklas Backstrom has kissed him.

He can’t stop thinking about it. He thinks about it on the plane to Ottawa, when he meets Nicke’s eyes as he walks past him, he thinks about it on the bus to the hotel. He thinks about it while he’s supposed to be taking a pre-game nap, lying in bed and replaying it over and over in his mind while he listens to Jakub snoring softly in the bed next to his.

“Do you want to grab drinks?” Nicke asks him, after the game. They fly back in the morning, so they have the night to grab food and a few drinks and a good night’s sleep before going back to DC in the morning.

“Me and you and Andre?” Christian asks, hedging his bets.

“Just me and you,” Nicke says. Christian feels his face go hot. “We always stay in this hotel, there’s a bar a couple of blocks away that’s pretty quiet and low key.”

“And you’re taking me there,” Christian asks, struggling to keep his voice level. He wonders if Nicke can hear the fear in his voice, the desire.

“Only if you want to go,” Nicke says.

“On a date,” Christian says. Nicke laughs, but he’s smiling when he speaks again.

“Yeah,” Nicke says.

“I just wanted to be clear,” Christian says. “Because you kissed me.”

“I will again, if you play your cards right,” Nicke says, smirking at him. It makes Christian smile. Nicke raises his hand, brushes his thumb across the dimple in Christian’s cheek.

 

The bar is loud, but not so much that they can’t speak over it. Christian is going to play on Saturday, when they have their home opener in DC. His first NHL game. And he’s sitting in a bar, his sleeves rolled back to the elbows, his suit jacket checked, letting Nicklas Backstrom buy him drinks.

They’re sat at the bar, Nicke’s knee nudged between Christian’s as they lean in close to talk. Christian feels warm all over, and he’s only had two drinks, so he knows that it’s not from the alcohol. It’s from Nicke’s body, and Nicke leaning into him. Christian doesn’t order a third drink.

When they walk back to the hotel, they walk too close together, Nicke’s tie trailing from his pocket, and Christian’s loose around his neck, his suit jacket thrown over his arm. When Nicke reaches out a hand to guide him down the hotel hallway - away from Christian’s room, toward Nicke’s - Nicke’s hand is hot on Christian’s back through his dress shirt.

Nicke lets them into his hotel room. His clothes are packed away, his toiletries neat on the bathroom counter, the light left on to illuminate the room. The bed is rumpled, the do not disturb sign already on the door. Christian leans back against it as the door clicks shut.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Nicke says. He’s hanging his suit jacket and stripping out of his shirt, not even looking at Christian.

“I just don’t understand,” Christian says. “You could have anyone.”

“I guess,” Nicke says. “But I want you.”

He steps into Christian’s space, dips his head down and presses a kiss to Christian’s lips, cups his hands around Christian’s face and tips his head up. He fits their mouths together, and Christian breathes in, lets his hands slide across Nicke’s skin around to the small of his back as Nicke licks his way into Christian’s mouth.

“Why?” Christian asks, when Nicke pulls away and tugs Christian way from the door, reaching behind Christian to flip the lock.

“Why what?” Nicke asks.

“Why me?” Christian asks, following Nicke deeper into the room. Nicke hands hangers to Christian to strip out of his shirt.

“I liked the guy who was willing to fight for what he wanted,” Nicke says. “It wasn’t because I wanted you like this, at first. It was the kid who was fighting his way into place. And I remember telling you when we first started training together that you’d compensate for what you lack.”

“Height, size,” Christian says, mouth twisting in a smirk.

“But it doesn’t matter,” Nicke says. “Because you kept working. And you - you’ll fight for what you want. And I liked that. And I liked spending time with you, and talking to you.”

“Really,” Christian says, almost like he doesn’t believe it.

“Yes,” Nicke says. “Even though you’re an idiot.”

Christian laughs, and lets Nicke maneuver him back toward the bed. “Can’t you just accept that sometimes things don’t have to have a reason?” Nicke asks Christian, even as he’s unbuckling his belt and sliding his slacks off and tossing them over the hanger. Christian pushes himself up on his elbows, watching Nicke’s ass as he moves.

“I guess,” Christian says. “Even if that sounds like bullshit.”

“Stop arguing about it and take your pants off,” Nicke says. “Never in my life have I heard someone complain so much about someone liking them.”

Christian pushes himself up off the bed, laughing, and strips out of his pants. His heart beats a little faster when he’s standing there, his face flushed, wearing nothing but his underwear, exposed like this for Nicke. They’re in a locker room together all the time. This is different, because this time Nicke’s hands are reaching for him.

“Come to bed with me,” Nicke says. Christian nods his head.

“Yeah,” he finally says, out loud.

The slide beneath the sheets of Nicke’s hotel room bed, sheets cold against Christian’s overheated skin and Nicke’s hands hot, too hot, like they’re burning him as they slide over his skin, down his back and over the curve of his ass. Nicke hitches him closer with his hand on the back of Christian’s thigh, until Christian can feel Nicke’s dick pressed up against him. He’s not hard, he’s just there, and Christian is - well, he’s not exactly soft, not with Nicke’s hands on him.

Nicke doesn’t do anything but kiss him, keeps his hand on Christian’s ass for leverage, lets Christian open his mouth under Nicke’s and press his tongue in until they’re both breathing heavy and Nicke is finally hard against him.

Christian actually whimpers when Nicke says, “Can I jerk you off?” And it takes him a moment to collect himself before he can say yes.

Nicke tugs their underwear down off their hips with only a little bit of fumbling, gets his dick pressed flush against Christian’s, hot and hard with no fabric in between. His mouth is on Christian’s jaw, his teeth scraping across skin, but his hand is too dry on Christian’s cock as he jerks them together and it’s not - 

“Wait,” Christian says, and Nicke freezes immediately, pulls his hand away.

“You okay?” Nicke asks him.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s just - “ Christian reaches out and catches Nicke’s hand in his, presses his tongue flat against Nicke’s palm and licks a hot, wet trail across the skin.

“Oh,” Nicke says, and for the first time he sounds like he’s the one thrown for a loop instead of Christian.

“Try it now,” Christian says.

It’s not perfect, but it’s better, Christian’s spit giving just a little more slide to the motion of Nicke’s hand on their dicks. Christian rocks his hips forward into Nicke’s hand when he comes, gasping, digging one hand into Nicke’s hair.

Nicke wipes his hand on the sheets and tugs Christian close to him, come sticky and wet between them.

“Will you stay here with me tonight?” Nicke asks him. Christian looks at Nicke for a moment and then leans in, kissing Nicke softly, scraping his teeth across Nicke’s lower lip.

“Will you clean us up?” Christian asks.

Nicke just laughs, and rolls to get out of bed.

**Author's Note:**

> on twitter @notedgoon


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